Retirement Party

It’d be great
we could get a cake
and have toasts

with myself
the butt of
many jokes

embarrassing
and inappropriate
stories told

and gifts
like putters
with brochures
for nursing homes
hidden in the card

nostalgia and
an open bar
and questions
like “what are
you going to do now?”
with canned
answers followed by
sympathy laughs

and a few
heartfelt
farewell hugs
that linger
to discomfort,

but I’m not
sure where to
find the paperwork
for retirement.