[just wrote this, I'm open to suggestions.]
The police tape outside the rambler didn’t conceal much.
Everyone in the neighborhood heard the shots.
When the cameras showed up,
the overweight-middle-aged women were interviewed,
the story was obvious enough.
There were still details floating around,
but with these things details seldom get nailed down,
least not to the satisfaction of col de sac gossip.
The local news anchor was able to piece together
a fairly comprehensive synopsis of the crime.
A murder suicide.
Love had had enough of hope,
his adolescent behavior
refusal to accept reality
or notice her.
Neighbors mentioned that Hope seemed distant in conversation.
He was always occupied with half-finished home improvement projects.
Love hadn’t been happy in years.
Seduced by possibilities and fear of being alone,
she married the younger man
months after their meeting him.
The promise of a family went unfulfilled
as the couple struggled with infertility.
Love became increasingly depressed, and Hope paid little attention.
He became unconcerned with his wife’s needs and her fight with depression.
In a press conference the Sheriff’s office noted
the crime appeared to have been planned ahead of time
it was not a crime of passion.
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1 comment:
I like this, but there are a lot of instances of passive voice, or half-sentence here, half-sentence there of explanation that isn't always necessary. I might add one or two lines about the idealistic meeting.
good work overall.
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